honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
