I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
