I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
