week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
