Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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