I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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