its not stalking. its research.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize