Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
