He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
