Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Enjoy the penises
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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