i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
