"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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