Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
