This is not my ceiling
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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