One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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