piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I pour the whiskey from now on
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
