If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
