This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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