help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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