you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
