White coat. Heels.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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