dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
