Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
