i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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