I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
