Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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