Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
