the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
