Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
