she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
