mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
