i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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