She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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