im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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