Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
