brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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