no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
