is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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