it's like iHOP with fire
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
