Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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