definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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