I wannas sexs uuuuu
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
