I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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