U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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