I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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