Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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