I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
