Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
