Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
