Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
