So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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