We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
