I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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