I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
