She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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