is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My ass is underappreciated
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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