Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
