haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize