butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
