Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think people are normalizing furries
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
