Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize