talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
