i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
