I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i already hear my dad disowning me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
